just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
There are leaves in my underwear?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
