Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
