I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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