Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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