I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
