It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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