I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
