i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
