why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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