Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
