My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
