I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
