I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
