All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Who died my cat blue again?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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