Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
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