I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
