I accidentally had phone sex last night
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
We had sex on a dog bed..
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
