Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
