i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
