she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
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