is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
