dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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