tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
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