I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
you would pick up someone in the library
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
