btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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