I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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