Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
