its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Every concussion has its silver lining
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
