Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
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