i always forget guys have bellybuttons
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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