Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
