I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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