I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
