why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
My pussy is not your playground.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
