The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
