i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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