i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Randomize
