Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
this just has baby written all over it
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
she pinky promised me she was 18
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
do nipples grow back?
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