someone threw a dead crab at me
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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