so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
