Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
