to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
