Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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