we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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