You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
The best revenge is premature balding
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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