Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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