Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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