Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
At least make sure they are 18
Why
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
