she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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