"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
A+ Viking dick
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
