Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
