i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
