You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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